best intentions; worst track record.

I
miss
feeling
good
enough.

I
miss
dancing
in the rain.

I miss
laughing
so hard that
my gut was
in knots.

I
miss crying
over people
who were
worth it.

I
miss
being
able to
talk to God
with out feeling
like I'm the
worst person
alive.

I
miss
understanding math.

I
miss
feeling smart enough.

I miss thinking that my writing
was any good at all.

I miss living for the sake of living and breathing for the sake of breathing and waking up everyday with something new to wake up for.

I miss living by the track I was placed on by those "above" me,
when the board of education meant something more than idiots who closed school for false calls of bad weather.


I'll wake up tomorrow and I won't have my folders of old tests staring at me. Of the awful, low numbers written in awful, bright pen on math sheets. Of science portfolio's marked over with corrections that needed to be made.

I'll wake up tomorrow, and I'll feel better.
But right now,
I'd rather not feel at all.