I spent my whole life being the girl that I'd like to be friends with, and never the girl that I'd love.

I figured out what my teachers meant when they told me that I talked too much. I figured out what it meant when my father told me that I made up my mind too quickly. I figured out what it meant when someone who had everything stood on the side of a highway and claimed to have nothing for the sake of a handout they didn't really need. It's about giving up and choosing a different path, an easier path. I ignored the work that I didn't think I needed and chose to laugh instead. I ignored the scenes that I didn't want to see and observed what caught my eye. It's easier to take what others have worked for than it is to get your hands dirty, playing on sympathy and gestures of kindness. I have spent far too much time glancing in the wrong directions because it was more convenient or it was easier. I have focused on the maturity of moving on and acceptance and forgotten how to be mature when handling others who need to go through the same process. I have bypassed the technique of being sympathetic towards those who have poor coping skills and focused repressing empathy, I hate feeling.



everything is fucking sour when you're upset. i'm a mess of emotion and don't know what to do with myself. i remember the days where i didn't depend on anyone else to make me happy. i thought i already was.

thought.