Thursday, May 22, 2008

my (least) favorite scene in titanic is the one where the woman tucks her kids in to bed while the boat sinks and reads them a bedtime story.

there's this guy who lives three blocks down and remodeled his house for all the cats that he owns. he claims to know what they want. and when you ask him why he'd do all of that for cats, he says it's because he's always been in it for the underdogs. and when you ask him why he'd root for the loser before the game has even started, he says it's because they're the only ones worth getting behind. and it makes me think of all the people sitting in leather chairs in the top floor of their office building in the biggest cities in the world, and where they started out. and i wonder if they were underdogs that were worth getting behind, or if daddy bought their way. and i wonder who they slept with to get there or who they slept with for love and those that haven't even had a legpopping kind of kiss yet. i wonder who's smart enough to get what they want, and who's manipulative enough, and who has the right kind of connections, and how we differientate from the two.

sometimes i wonder if being on top could ever be worth it, when all the ones with souls are only getting behind the underdogs. maybe bottomandout is the only way to live and the only way to appreciate, because guys like the man who lives three doors down and that you'll never speak to will be rooting for you from the sidelines.

i feel bad for people who don't possess any sort of competitive spirit or willingness to scrape, because i'm not sure that i believe in success based merely on good deeds anymore. no matter what happens, though, i think the guy who remodeled his house for his cats is the only one of us that's ever really felt like number one. and in a way that no one can take from him. what's it like to win something that can't ever be taken? a title that's a way of life and not a stepping stone to something bigger? a success that utilizes your full potential for both loving and producing?

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