last chance to lose your keys

There's the warmest of bodies next to me and I am resting against the headboard of a bed I have not found comfort in for too long. The drapes are open and I wonder how many people are out there counting stars, wishing they were anywhere else with the warmest of bodies next to them. I know that I should be appreciative for the attention and the comfort, but I feel out of place and exhausted from the race taking place in my head - I can't block out images of a particular set of lips or a particularly crooked smile that I would kill to be the cause of once more before dying.

When he wakes he will be lonely. He will slide closer and pull me towards him, asking questions of where I've been and where I hope to go. He will whisper words of past lovers and how this morning was the best in a while, and I will daydream of one who knew when distance was best and the beauty of a simple sentence and the faintest of kisses. When it comes to words, less is more. And when it comes to love, I often choose the door.

buddy holly

there's a silhouette to be traced by your eyes, to be explored by your fingertips. there's the most innocent of moonlight to be met beneath, silk clouds rolling above the heads of two birds wishing for love but settling for less. there's warm breath and cold fingers - shaking with the anxiousness of a dozen unrealistic expectations. there's a shadow reaching out for another, a pair of chapped lips dancing with the softest of collar bones. there's no rooms for lambs nor time to hide beneath the wool of what your parents told you; two shadows meet for a dance and get lost beneath a tainted moonlight.

"I do not believe anyone can be perfectly well, who has a brain and a heart."

i sip tea with the greatest poets of our time!
i've sailed along the most exotic islands in a yacht i built by hand!
i've read every mainstream holy text in every language known to man!
i have a greater understanding of the human race than the greatest prophets the world has ever known! i outsing doves and outrun panthers in the depths of jungles unexplored by any living man! i am alive in ways no one else could ever comprehend!

i am small small small and wish wish wish i could be so so so much more than i've ever dreamed dreamed dreamed.

i call you love.

nothing more than the faintest scent of autumn; cider and maple leaves and all the browns and golds you ever tried to count in my eyes. i'm overcome by the memory of a man-made lake in the middle of nowhere and two shadows tracing the contours of one another's palms because they've got nothing better they could imagine spending their time on; the sun is falling and his chest is rising from the hefty breaths of two shadows becoming one. the moon whispers its' salutations but neither hear - the birds sing goodbye above the tree tops in the distance but neither notice - there's nothing more than two shadows becoming one by a man-made lake in the middle of nowhere, and i am overcome by the reality of four walls surrounding me and the absence of both cider and one who counts the colors in my eyes. one becomes two and shadows become memories and autumn becomes a part of the past that keeps me awake at night, wishing for one last walk or palm line to trace.

put your money where your mouth is.

hey stranger, sit with me and have a chat. we'll sip from our mugs for a while and pretend we can detect the taste - i have nowhere to go and you've got nowhere to run, i've seen the look on that face a few times before.




sometimes life feels just like a song.

hush.

people exist for various reasons, and i believe no two people exist for the very same reason. right now someone's having their first kiss, their last kiss, their wedding kiss, a goodbye kiss. someone's dying and being born and for some, it's happening at the exact same time. this is the worst day of someone's life; this is the best. today someone will experience more excruciating pain than they ever have or ever will again - today someone will be irreparably traumatized. someone's indulging their vice for the last time. someone's getting divorced. someone's lying to someone else, and someone's telling the truth. within 24 hours everything worth feeling or avoiding is experienced across the globe, by different people and under different circumstances - they will handle it individually and uniquely, the same as they experienced it; some won't handle it at all.

i like to imagine all of the things that are happening around the world when i go to sleep at night. i wish i could say that all of the exciting parts about breathing and interacting outnumber the sadder and more disappointing parts of life, but i don't know if that's true.

someone somewhere is counting down to the most significant thing in their whole life. whether it's good or bad, it's coming. they can't stop it, and they don't know exactly where to go from there.

we're all so small.

i burn (out) with the best of them.

a
tisket
a
tasket
we
all
fall
down.